Desire

When you desire something with all your heart the Lord finds ways of satisfying your true needs. - Roselyn Lucas

What you desire may not always be what you need. We can justify our desire and make the reasins sound right but the Lord know more then we do of what we truelly need. Trust in Him.

Final Grades for Winter Term !!

I received an A in my Advertising and Journalism class !!!! I also received an A in my Spanish class!!!!

I am so proud of myself! I worked hard for those A's !!!

For spring term, I am taking Theater which will introduce me to the world of acting and Intro. to Mass Media. Intro. to Mass Media is a journalism class which will introduce me to the huge world of media.

Media is what we read, see, hear. Media is what we communicate through or what we use to communicate with. Media includes magazines, newspapers, internet and radio. For spring term I plan on adding to my knowledge bank on the topic Mass Media. I am so excited!

Yeah I got an A !! Two A's actually. :)

Write-Her, Right Here - It's time to get serious.

I finished my first press release for Project Multimedia. I plan on sending it tommorow to all the local news papers in hopes of getting some publicity for our company.
















Excuse me, let me intorduce the company ... Project Multimedia (PM). I don't own the company but I work for the company. The owners are Hamil Poton and Carlos Landa. Two creative guys located in Salem, Oregon. You can view our comapny websites at www.projectmultimedida.biz .

Pretty soon you will be able to view all of my work on my very own professional web site that Hamil, the web guy for PM, is developing and hosting. I will categorize all my pieces so that you can view my work by type. For example press releases will be under Press Releases and any interviews I do will be under Interviews.

Speaking of interviews, I have one tomorrow and I am up at 1 in the morning writing! I am very much a night person! I need to go to bed.

This is great though. I feel great after writing. It's like excersizing only for my brain and that feels wonderful.

Good night!

Flying Hair

Today

I had an interview today; it was about a House Mom position for a foundation that helps pregnant teens. I hope they call me.

I was a teen mom and I struggled growing up. Years later the Lord saved me and guided me. I did act like a rebellious child (and still on occasion do) but my Father loves me and sticks by me through all my struggles.

Somehow I want to thank Him. So I am in search of my purpose. I wonder if I'll ever realize it. Hmmm.... Whatever it is I hope I haven't failed.

Sometimes it is hard to look in at your self and see if you are headed in the right direction. I'm sure the Lord will guide me.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I want to write. That's all I want to do. Why can't I make a living just writitng the days away.

Endless words on a glowing computer screen and the occasional smoothly threaded paper. I'd listen to classical music and write away.

Instead I have a final tomorrow and I should be studying. I have already studied 3 hours or so. I need a break and some art to release my soul.

Ok, I'll quit being corny, "Art to release my soul."

Person from The Past

People hurt people in many different ways on many different levels.

If someone hurt me I'd eventually forgive that person and make an effort, atleast a small one, to stay friends. I never really liked to disapoint people because that would make me feel bad. I guess ... I'm a people pleaser, or atleast I try to be.

All People have good in them, right? People also treat people differntly then the next.

She is a person from the past.



Introduction:

"Give me a hug! I've missed you," she reaches for me.

I relunctlantly accept her hug. She is a person from the past. Earlier that week her daughter, my neice, said the same thing to me.

"What is going on?" I thought to myself.

We exchanged pleasentries and I eventually invite her in. She showed up at my door with my daughter. She gave her a ride home from my mothers home. My mother is a woman I wonder about. I really don't understand my mom but I think she secretly hates me in a motherly way. (Sorry if that doesn't make sense but my childhood didn't either.)

I thought I had ended our friendship. It never works out. We don't care for each other. Atleast not like real friends do. If she needed something of course I'd help if she asked but a stranger with a good heart would do the same.


She goes on about all these new things happening in her life and her new found freedom. She recently made a big decision.

I tell her, "Great for you."

I was sincerely excited for her despite how I feel about our "friendship". I thought I made a clean break but it's hard when she is the mother of my neice. She isn't that bad. I just don't trust her and I'm pretty sure she feels the same way about me.

We grew up together. We had a past, an unpleasent one. We always quietly competed with each other. Analyzing what each other had or didn't have. Who gained weight more and so on. Real friends don't do that. Yet She considered me a friend? Perhaps the friend deserves a better definition then the one given when we were younger.


I'm changing. I have learned the hard way what constitutes as love. I have yet to understand friendship. I'm just trying to survive. Life is so much more complicated when you get older.

"Thats wonderful," I told Her, "I'm so happy for you. It's like an adenture." She contiued on about the freedom she felt. She seemed excited to share with me her life. It was nice to hear her story.

Whenever anyone can find pleasure in their life that is wonderful.

End Introduction.

Art

Art can relaease the soul and alow us to breath so we may acomplish the tasks that have been so heavely laid before us. -Roselyn Lucas

Spring Break !!

This term is almost over. I can hardly wait. Next week I have one final for spanish.

Estoy nerviosa poquito pero yo estudio mucho. I hope I wrote that right. I have the stucture in my head but my mind is slow at accessing it. Practice practice practice.

Next term I signed up for theater and a writing class. In the theater class I will learn basic terminology used in the business and some basic acting skills. My writing class is all about logic and composition. I have taken several writing classes already but I guess I need one more in order to get my transfer degree.

I will apply for admissions at Univeristy of Oregon fall 2009 ! I am so excited. I want to attend their School of Journalism and Communication.

I still have my CNA license but I kind of want to get a job as something else. I am good as a CNA but I wonder if I could succeed in a different field perhaps journalism. Will see where my heart leads me.

Midnight Thoughts

At home on my little soft forest green couch. My mother gave me this couch. It's been in our family since I was a lost teenager. I remeber sleeping on it on the weekends because all my "friends" were over and there was no room for them in my cozy room. We all wanted to be togethere. When we're young we never really want to be alone; do we?

In June I'll be 26 years old. Life is going by pretty fast now. When I was younger it seemed like time would just drag along.

For spring term at college I'll be taking acting classes or Theater ... I hope they teach me how to act. Acting could be useful in embaressing situations. I could act like I don't care and then when I get home I can safely reveal my feelings.

I also signed up for a class on near eastern religion which I think consist of cristianity, muslim or islam and some other religion. I am not sure if I'll stick with it but there is and 80% chance I will. I have been longing for some understanding in that area.

I miss God. I know he has never left me but I think I've strayed away a little more. I feel so sad right now and if I was closer to Him maybe I would feel bettter. Since I don't I think I may have strayed away. Sounds strange almost doesn't it?

I would like to find a job I enjoy doing. I haven't enjoyed working for awhile now. I don't get paid enough at my current job and I need to pay bills. I don't know how to be an entrpreneur. Owning your own business is not what it's sounds like. I don't own my own business but I know those who do and they struggle alot with many different things all at once. very stressful.

Modeling

So I have been to many photo shoots. It's alot of work to get set up and coordinate everybody.

The last photo shoot I helped with there was to many people trying to direct. Ahhh...So how do you deal with that?

I never really considered modeling I was scouted out by an agency once when I was 18 years old but I turned them down because I didn't believe in myself. To be a model you need to be confident. WHile I feel I'm pretty I don't think I am model material. I'd hate to admit it for some odd reason but I wish I was. I know I'm not ugly but... who doesn't like the thought of being the beautiful girl? I don't think of it much but lately I've been looking in the mirror alot. It's because of this beauty expo.

I guess I need to strighten my priority out a bit and remember who I am. I like me anyways. I don't have the money to be a glamour girl or the time so why try? I know the answer ... we can't all be models right. I guess I like the attention.

Making Something From Nothing

Sometimes you just have to put yourself out there and believe in yourself even if everything else says you'll fail.

My Hamil beleives in me but sometimes I have crazy ideas or ideas that aren't planned out so well.

I have learned to write out my goals every time I am trying to aquire anything like services or products. I state the goal concisely. Then I write out a plan. I also list things I need and from where they might come from. Then I exucute my plan.

My plan right now is to study my spanish because my goal is to get an A and actually have learned some simple spanish. I need the A to keep my Fin Aid and continue school.

This woman has goals and dreams. Good Night. I hope to write more later.