How do you discover what your passion is?

Understand my life is more than what my past is.

In my past I was being smothered by stronger personalities that dominated my actions and thoughts. Is was only when I reached out to God that I found the strength to climb out from the pile of rotting feces and hear and see past poisoned words and mannequin actions.

In the present I am someone new. A different person has survived from the past. I can discover myself and my passion for life.

How do you discover what your passion is?

I know I can't answer the question completely for you but here is what I've been doing.

In Aug 2007 I changed my job, from nurse aid to assistant at a design firm. I moved from north to south in my town. I colored and cut my hair from long to short. I changed my educational goals from nursing to journalism. I have also gained about 30-35 lbs in about 10 months because I've eaten primarily fast food and cut out exercise. Recently, I have been to the gym three days in a row (four if I go today) and I eat out less and control my meal portions more.

Change. I've changed my job, location, look, and my educational goals. I feel like I'm this ugly caterpillar and I'm spinning my cocoon and my goal is to come out beautifully in the end. How do I do that?

Discover. I skipped highschool and earned my GED and I've been attending college part-time for the past 3 years. I've changed my career focus several times. In the beginning I was looking for a degree I can complete quickly so I can get right to work. Keep in mind that I was still married and feces were still being thrown at me when I began college. He (my x-husband) didn't like me being out of his sight. Now that I've found room to breath and space to grow I've discovered that I would be happier with my first love, writing.

I would like to believe I've found passion, writing. Two years ago my passion was nursing. For about two years I worked as a nurse assistant. Working closely with someone who had discovered there passion is nursing I realized that it wasn't my calling or my passion. So what makes me think writing is my passion?

Remember, my life is more then what my past is. Who I was then is different than who I am now. Changing my environment and discovering the world without being buried by mountains of fowl words and manufactured actions or dictated by narrow minded people who don't know how to let a person grow or care less or more to leave the girl alone, I remembered just how much I loved to write.

Getting the perfect words in the right order down on paper or blog. The infinite ways a sentence could be structured. Knowing that the words chosen can communicate different feelings. Like "smooth skin" as oppose to "silky skin". The first sounds nice but the second not only describes how the skin feels but it can reveal the mood in which a writer would like to direct the reader to arrive at. Perhaps both can create mood (of course they both can) but that is how versatile writing is. You can bend it any way you want. Actually being able to write the way you want and the way it actually comes out are two different things.

I love writing. I do.

For the sake of those whose passion is not writing I will move on. I believe writing is my passion. Only time and my actions will reveal the truth. My advice to those who are trying to find their passion:

You are more then what your past is. Change. Break free and let yourself grow. Find that light you may have lost during the course of your life. Discover. Let yourself into unknown waters. Perhaps a seed planted in you when you were younger will begin to grow. For me, it was my writing. I don't know if anyone planted the seed of writing in me but I know that since I've let myself change and grow many things that were smothered and forgotten are finding there way out.